Thursday, February 04, 2010

Traditional Remedies: Mom and Saffron Square Off


Problem: Saffron is screaming in her room, because she got sent to bed (it's bedtime anyway), because she got mad at Mom for not buying her dinner at Wendy's, even though the reason she wasn't at Wendy's with the family was that she was eating dinner at a friend's house. Willa is screaming in the bath because Mom is combing her hair out while the conditioner's in it, because that's the only way to get the snarls out, and because Willa screams whenever anyone touches her hair. Ruby and Jasper are yelling from the kitchen for help finishing their homework because they're tired and want to go to bed.

Mom's Solution: Drag screaming Saffron from the bedroom into the bathroom so she can comb screaming Willa's hair, so they can scream together and Mom can go get the dang homework finished and get all the vocal chords in bed.


Problem: Willa's perpetual stomach aches, even after giardia treatment (which had been Mom and the doctor's solution).

Saffron's Solution: Follow Ethiopia Dad's treatment regimen: First dig your thumbs into Willa's tummy really hard until it hurts. Then massage the tummy with thumbs. Then tie a scarf as tight as possible around the tummy right where it hurts, and use scarf and Willa's ankles to hold her upside down. Run around with her upside down like this for 10 minutes. Put her down and the tummy will supposedly feel better. (Haven't tried it yet.)

Problem: Willa's ever-present head sores, which she's apparently had on-and-off her whole life, which ooze and bleed, and which confound the dermatologist.

Saffron's Solution: Follow the Orphanage's treatment regimen: First put some unknown red medicine all over Willa's head, put gloves on, dig your fingers in and scrub her head so hard all the scabs break and bleed (and, presumably, she screams bloody murder). Then, braid her hair in large braids: leave for one day. Then, take braids out and blow all over her scalp. Then rub oil all over it. Sores should be cured.
(Haven't tried it yet--still plugging away with the derm's medicine, and seriously considering cutting the hair.)


Melissa said...

Good luck Emily.

Emily said...

I have a hard enough time arguing in my own head over solutions I might try, let alone having little mother Saffron's interesting ideas! Hearing all of these problems makes my head swirl. The more I know about you, Em, the more amazed I am at your ability to be strong and dig deep and face squarely with the problems. I have a hunch it will, and is, paying off.

FitZoner said...

Emily, it's at time's like this that we as moms have to say the words of the following song, that Zach learned at preschool, over and over and over. "It's my job, and I like it fine. No one has a better job than mine." It's worth a shot. Sometimes it helps, other times - not so much.

Rachel said...

I hope it's okay to laugh!

Brooke said...

So the scalp problems will be better with shorter hair? I'm not sure why. I'm with you on not trying any of Saffron's lovely treatments. You could wind up at DCFS. Good idea about having all the screaming kids in one place. I just don't know how you have the strength to do it. I would have given up by now. You are one strong woman. Keep on, keeping on!

Sovic Clan said...

Goodness girl! I love that Saffron is such a great sister to want and try to help out. Oh, my though. How do you do it?
P.S. The song on my blog could be either Jason Mraz or Jack Johnson. There are a few of those two on there.:)