Monday, August 15, 2011

We Love You, Mommie Dearest

Yesterday Steve got back from a ten-day trip to Japan where he was volunteering in the rebuilding effort. This overlapped with me and the kids joining my family at the ranch in Wyoming, so we were actually apart for two weeks. This separation culminated in one of the most uplifting periods of Steve's life (because of Japan, stupid--not because he had a break from me and the kids. Wait. Right? I mean, I am right about that. . . . I think.) Anyway, as I was saying, uplifting for him, not so much for me. I've been alone plenty and Steve works a lot of hours anyway so I'm used to captaining the ship. But this was some'um else. First, no one should ever leave me alone with my children at the end of the summer when I've already had them under foot for two months. It's not safe. I'm no Andrea Yeates, but I'm also no Emily Swensen anymore. No, that pretty awesome mom has been replaced by Mommie Dearest (see above).

So, the timing wasn't great. Then, throw in a major car accident the first day of the two weeks (and the resulting rental car/insurance headaches!), a sprinkler disaster, two remodeled rooms with their contents still not put away, two huge shipments for the shipping business, a family vacation with the necessary hours of whine-driving, a two-day soccer tournament 45 minutes away, several child-meltdowns, the hottest weather of the summer, and one 35th birthday with no husband, and you have the implosion of one formerly sane mother. I think Steve and I should start the kids' therapy fund now.

Any old way, yesterday Steve got home and it was all happy day. Today, we had no phone or internet. Refusing to deal with ONE MORE THING!!!!!, I did nothing about it but just wait till Steve got home late to deal with it. At approximately 11:45 pm, he got around to investigating and calling the phone company. Turns out, if you haven't paid your phone bill in months, they TURN OFF YOUR PHONE! Um...whoops. At least we were able to pay the back balance--there were many times in our marriage we would have been up a crick.

So, the moral of the story is, don't get to thinkin yer jist a leetle crazy the past couple weeks ciz yer husband's been gone. Naw--really YOU E BEEN INSANE FOR MONTHS!!!!

Saturday, August 13, 2011


It's official. Thirty-five today. What do I wish for? own Alice from The Brady Bunch.